UsedWigs

There was a time when UsedWigs was young, before it went blog, that we didn’t have comments. If someone had something to say about something I wrote, they sent me an e-mail, and I ignored them. It was the opposite of a free-for-all.

I get it so often, and I got ‘nem ol’ Mitteilungszwang again Mama! Mitteilungszwang is German for “the need to tell something.” I seldom do anything about it. But tonight, white wine spritzer in hand, laundry in machine down in ‘nem basement, headphones on, a song is opening up a [...]

Things I keep meaning to start doing: 1) Referring to myself only in the third person; 2) Getting a gun; 3) Writing something good.
I keep — I mean, Shrake keeps — wanting to write something that will electrify you. He dreams of it. Maybe if he talks about his body it will electrify you. He’d [...]

Is it my imagination, or does Padma Lakshmi now pronounce her name all foreign-sounding all of a sudden?
Is (the exquisite) Spike Mendelsohn a Scorpio or what? What was with the awesome death gaze he gave the judges when he was in the loser column in the main challenge?

Am I allowed to [...]

In the third act of the classic motion picture drama “Mommie Dearest,” an aging Joan Crawford (Faye Dunaway) is shown at a meeting with the all-male board of directors of Pepsi-Cola, where her last husband had been president until his recent death. After expressing their condolences, the board tells Crawford she will have to repay [...]

[NOTE: This quessay is cross-posted on HuffingtonPost.com]
*Big ups to Crispin Glover, who really should’ve run for president this year, and who once wrote an “essay” called “What Is It?” composed only of questions, with a subtly discernible anti-Steven Spielberg thrust to it. Subtly discernible, the way the media’s anti-Hillary Clinton bias is subtle. I’m paying [...]

Are you ready for the Clinton Restoration? I am. I went down to my storage unit and got out a box labeled “1990s Memories” to get myself prepared for Back to the ’90s, and I found this list I wrote back then called “Self-Help Books Someone Should Write.” Remember self-help?
Remember the backlash against it? [...]

The debate always seems to rise again: Is Washington, D.C., in the South?
After the last couple Bible-belt-strangled presidential elections, which gave us Bush, I said, quote, “F**k the South” — therefore I don’t want D.C. to be in the South, because I live here now. It makes me look foolish. Did I get bamboozled? Let’s [...]

As another garbage year comes to a close, we traditionally gather with family and loved ones to count our blessings.
Okay, done.
Actually I had a very blest year and a nice holiday. I lost a few pounds, too, while I was home at the ancestral estate. My manorexia is out of control, which is a blessing.
During [...]