Full Disclosure: Being completely unprepared for this interview with comedian Jim Gaffigan, I just jotted down some questions from my latest issue of Cat Fancy Magazine.

How long have you been breeding?

I’d like to say since I was 16, but more like 24. I did practice a lot before that.

Do you prefer breeding or showing?

I prefer breeding. Showing, I always risk getting arrested.

What do you most like to show?

Let’s just say it’s not my belt buckle.

Where have you found to be the best place to show?

Boy you’re really obsessed with “showing” aren’t you? I think the best place to show is in car at a stop light. I call it “show and go.”

What are your fondest memories of last year’s Purina Invitational Show?

Tons of pussy!

Do you depend on your own cats for all of your breeding or do you sometimes rely on a stud service?

First of all, drop the hippie lingo. Second of all, I’m more of a participant than a spectator.

How do you choose your studs?

Look I’m not gay. Drop it.

What advice do you have for starting breeders?

Practice, practice, practice…

What is the most fun in breeding?

I’d say the last four seconds.

How do you go about your breeding plan for the year?

I just wing it. I’m not a nerd.

Do you have any particular color choice for breeding?

I like Asian girls, but there’s always that cultural barrier of them not being interested in me. Overall, I’m not picky. Beggars can’t be choosers.

When do you know that you have a show prospect?

The person can’t get away. (See questions 2-3.)

What are some of the more exciting moments you have had in the show ring?

Never been to the show ring. Where is this so called “show ring.” Is it couples only? I’m intrigued

Describe the look that you are seeking?

Desperation, drowsiness, severe drowsiness, and low self-esteem.

Can I borrow 10 bucks?

No, but you can certainly earn it.

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