So, I read you were hand-picked by Amy Sedaris to play everyone’s favorite “little redheaded spitfire,” Tammi Littlenut, on “Strangers With Candy.” Please tell the story.

I was in a play where I had one scene, no lines. I just screamed and talked to myself, and was basically as weird as I could be, completely unaware that I was auditioning for “everyone’s favorite little redheaded spitfire.” Amy Sedaris saw the play. The rest is canceled-Comedy-Central-show history!

You were reportedly the only one of the Flatpoint High “kids” who still looked young enough four years after the show ended to be in the SWC movie. I’m dying to know: What’s your secret?

The audience’s eyes age at the same rate as I do, so by the theory of relativity, I appear the same age.

Also, face steroids.

Did Tammi and Jerri really hook up, or was Jerri just trying to act big at the end of Episode 2 of SWC, Season 1?

Scholars will debate that question centuries from now. Why should I ruin their fun?

What are Tammi Littlenut’s political leanings?

I always assumed radical anarchist — If that wasn’t obvious, I guess I wasn’t doing my job.

photo by Todd Oldham

I thought she would have been a Nader voter, based purely on her hairstyles …

That’s interesting. I would have thought Ralph Nader would have been a radical anarchist based on his hairstyles.

Do you have a favorite episode of SWC?

The one where Ross is checking his answering machine and Jerri walks in the door (she didn’t go to Paris!), and they realized that they loved each other all along.

Who are your redhead role models in showbiz?

Julianne Moore…

Love her.

…Bernadette Peters … and Bill Murray with a wig.

Is the stereotype that redheads are generally “crazy” based in truth?

That’s a pretty wild accusation coming from a giant leprechaun with gerbil wings.

Do you sense that a lot of strangers (with or without candy) have weird crushes on you?

Sometimes. It’s weird when I meet someone who has a crush on Tammi Littlenut — who is a 15-year-old girl, gentlemen! — and thinks that I am Tammi Littlenut, instead of a grumpier, older version of her named Maria Thayer.

So, where do you see yourself in 55 years, Tammi? I mean, Maria?

In 50 years, I’ll be surrounded by my husband, Herbert, and my two boys, John and Cecil. John will be starting his residency at UCLA Medical School (fetal optometry), and Cecil, with his wife, Marianne, will be having my third grandchild. I will also have a slight headache. God, my house is dirty. But, in 55 years?… Wow-ee, no idea.

OK, where do you see yourself in 55 days, then?

In 50 days, dead. In 55 days? Wow-ee, no idea.

So, here’s a showbiz question. Is it a “legal” requirement for every working actor to appear at least once on “Law & Order”? It seems like anyone I look up on IMDB has been on there, including you.

With the number of “Law & Order” spinoffs now, it’s not just working actors, it’s also non-working actors as well as non-actors and some dogs. I’m eagerly awaiting the all-dog “Law & Order.” You know, where Sam Waterston tries to figure out whose sidewalk crap that is.

Another showbiz question. You play the fretboards, tickle the ivories, and work the squeezebox, right?

I play all of them badly, except the piano, which I play terribly.

With whom do you jam most often?

When I was in college, I would play with a few bands once in a while when they needed an accordion player for a rocking accordion solo. But, I haven’t picked it up in a while. The neighbors have complained.

You’re from Boring, Oregon. Did it live up to its name?

I was born there, lived there for the next four years and can’t remember doing a single fun thing. Or a single thing.

Now you’re in New York City. Is that too boring for you, as well?

No, New York lives up to its name. It’s newer than York. Hold for huge laugh. Next question.

Birth order and zodiac sign, please.

Thank you for a little courtesy. I’m the oldest of two. I have a little brother who is a biologist/fisherman in the Bering Sea, presently, and I was born a day before Halloween (Mischief Night), which makes me whatever that is.

I’m a Halloween baby, too! I should have known you were one of us. Come on, be interested in your sign! Join the Scorpio mafia! It’s your birthright.

That’s great, Scott. I’ll send you a birthday cupcake!

Would that be like a “Sicilian message”? … Look, there’s so much you probably want to ask me. Please go ahead and ask one question.

What’s keeping you from asking about my hair again?

I’m buying, what are you having?

Another round of face ‘roids.