PROVIDING COMPLETELY WORTHLESS NEWS AND NONSENSE SINCE 1999
TODAY IS:
Nagging Questions for... Zach Galifianakis by Zank
PROFESSION: Comedian & Actor
WHERE YOU'VE SEEN HIM: If you watch the T.V. – VH1’s "Late World with Zach," "Conan," "Letterman," "Kimmel," Fox’s "Tru Calling"
If you like movie films – "Flushed," "Heartbreakers," "Corky Romano," "Bubble Boy," "Below"
Explain to me the politics involved behind the removal of the brilliant Late World from VH1 and the addition of the not-so-brilliant In Search of The Partridge Family.
The reason the show was cancelled was because no one watched it. Also, what we were doing on Late World did not necessarily fit in with the Banana Republic core audience. I have not seen The Partridge Family thing. I had cable once and
that was when my show was on. I saw it one night and then cancelled it the next day.
I think that Late World featured musical guests that fit the show's vibe perfectly. When you were first coming up with the concept, which was the first band/artist that you wanted to get for the show?
I was emailing the lead singer from My Morning Jacket often. I would tell him that I was doing a show and he wanted to be on. But that never worked out. I wanted to have on folks that were not getting a lot of radio play. VH1 had their list and I had mine. I was quite pleased to
put on Rufus Wainwright.
Favorite genre of porn and why?
I am not really into porn. I have always wanted to go to a table read for a porn though. If I were to pick a genre it would have to be kitty porn (pornography with cats only) — often confused with you-know-what.
A lot of comedians have been finding their niche in "rock clubs." Do you prefer performing in music or comedy venues? Why?
I think the crowds in comedy clubs sometimes want to see the same formula of stand-up. The scene in the rock clubs allows you to be more loose, almost a throwback to the early years of stand-up where anything goes.
Worst rock band ever.EVER?
The Offspring tied with Nickelback and Creed
Give me a synopsis of your first time doing stand-up.
It was in the back of a hamburger joint in Times Square. I did a joke about not wanting to sleep on a girl's futon because it rhymed with crouton. I do not recall anyone laughing.
When you're out on the road, how many people are in your entourage? Please explain each member's duties - i.e., who has to move the piano and who is in charge of grooming?
I take the baby grand as a carry-on. It sucks. As far as an entourage, I travel with my beard stylist and headshotist. I also have two people in charge of my iPod. They worked with Eudora Welty with her Discman.
Favorite hot food eaten cold the next day?
I have not eaten since 1978.
Favorite drink that you only drink when you're already way too drunk?
Diet Tequiza or a gin and Capri Sun
What is the creepiest letter you have received from a Tru Calling fan?
A gentleman sent me nine very nice pornographic shots of himself. He was a doctor from Venezuela.
"The name of the show would be called "Satan It" (like hating it). If Satan himself were not available (I think he is tied up in a deal with PAX), I would look to cast any of the hosts of Entertainment Tonight
or Laura Bush."
Let's say there is a sitcom about Satan. What is the title and who is cast as Satan?
The name of the show would be called "Satan It" (like hating it). If Satan himself were not available (I think he is tied up in a deal with PAX), I would look to cast any of the hosts of Entertainment Tonight or Laura Bush.
When watching you on stage, I always get the sense you are a musician at heart and your in-between-song stage patter just formed a life of its own. Is this true, or have you always felt more like a comedian who uses music?
I really don't use music that much. If there is a piano there I will take advantage of it. I am just trying to do what I think may be funny. I am not a musician. That answer was too serious, so let me add something funny here: When are we going to stop paying so much attention
to the Middle East and focus on the real threat, North IKEA? That should do.
How much would you be willing to pay for a really good sandwich?
I just got the same question when I did an interview with The Economist. I will tell you what I told them. What I pay for a sandwich is none of your business. It is a very private issue to me. I will talk about anything but sandwiches. My great aunt died in "The Great Mortadella
Sandwich Incident" in the 1930s, and it is still very difficult for me to discuss sandwiches — any sandwich, and especially what I will pay for one.
Which role in any 1980s movie do you feel that you could have done better?
Gandhi. I would have cast Bill Cosby in that role. Everything else I would have left the same. I would also probably make 'Danger Zone,' the Kenny Loggins tune, part of the soundtrack for Gandhi.
Do you write bits of music for your show or is it pretty much improvised? Also, do you find yourself playing the same music for the same jokes over time?
The music is all improvised. I cannot read music. Only a certain type of music works with the jokes. I try to do three new jokes a night no matter how bad they are. The music stays the same and I change up the material.
Jason Priestly: Hunky or Dreamy?
The Priest? If you combine those two, what do you get? Drunky.
The L.A. comedy scene is bubbling over with talent right now. Who do you see breaking out as the "next big thing"?
Besides Howie Mandel? I don't know. I think there is so much potential within that scene. I just hope that it goes beyond Los Angeles. I would have to say Brody Stevens. I am only saying that because
of all the suicidal phone calls I get from him. Hopefully he will read this.
Speaking of the L.A. comedy scene, is it supportive with a lot of camaraderie or is it bitchy with a lot of backstabbing?
Listen, I will be the first to say that there is too much of that crap. I hate that. I am a bit of a loner. I equally hate everyone the same.
Favorite all-time comedian?
Steve Coogan
Favorite childhood joke?
My sister used to tell a great polack joke she made up when she was about six. It went like this: Why did the polack put his underwear on backwards? Because he did not have a front.
What's on the horizon for Zach Galifianakis?
I may try to take my sister's joke and make it into a feature length film for IMAX. Other than that, I don't know. I hated acting on a television show that I had no creative input on. I think I may write a movie or something. A movie. There, I wrote it.
