The Most Irritating Names in Entertainment

I enjoy creative names, who doesn’t, but some of our friends in the limelight are trying a bit too hard to be unique and get noticed with their asinine names. This list excludes celebrity baby and rapper names, there are just too many dumb ones to mention.

Cobie Smulders - She’s the on-again off-again love interest of that dull guy on that show with all the fake laughing and the fake straight guy. This cloying stage name makes me want to smother someone.

Scout Niblett - English singer and songwriter whose overly-precious name sounds like a dog snack. Plus, you should really be cute if you have a way-too-cute name. She’s not.

CCH Pounder - Two initials for for first name? Fine. Three? That’s just silly. Plus, the name of this actress ( “The Shield”) sounds like a chemical-laced McDonalds’ product… wait, aren’t they all?

Shia LaBeouf - Listen Indy Jr., I like you, but I don’t care enough to pronounce your first name correctly, what makes you think I’ll do better with your equally goofy last name.

Shooter Jennings - We get it, you’re the son of a famous hillbilly and hillbillies like guns. Clever.

Cast of “Gossip Girl” - Leighton Meester, Penn Badgley, Chace Crawford, Taylor Momsen, Blake Lively? I know these über waspy names sound like the bluest-of-blood character names in a spoof of a lame boarding school movie, but sadly, the names of these dopey actors are the real deal.

Cedric the Entertainer - Misnomer.

Babaloo Mandel - Babaloo who? He’s that Billy Crystal flunky and hack screenwriter of such classics as “Mr. Saturday Night,” “Father’s Day” and “Fever Pitch.”

McG - Known for making bad videos for wretched bands (Smashmouth, Sugar Ray), even worse movies (Charlie’s Angels), and even worse worse TV shows (Chuck, The O.C. and some Pussy Cat Dolls reality train wreck), I am forced to know who he is and refer to him by the gayest of gay initial-based monikers.

Melina Kanakaredes - This man-faced actress of Greek descent needs to lop a few syllables off of that mouthful of a last name. Jennifer Anastasakis was kind enough go with Aniston.

Thomas “Tommy” Schlamme - Yes, Schlamme (sounds like salami) rhymes with Tommy. Cute, huh? Not really. Schlamme is yet another yiddish surname that sounds like a slang term for penis. Also, he is responsible for producing some of the most pretentious crap on TV (Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, West Wing, Sports Night).

Ioan Gruffudd - This loose-limbed loser from those dreadful Fantastic Four films hails from Wales where people speak with grunts and add unnecessary letters to simple words.

Brawley King Nolte - Super absorbent paper towel or actor/son of that nutjob Nick? You decide.

Dakota Blue Richards - Even strippers wouldn’t use this atrocious name in fear of being confused for porn stars. This poor young British actress (”The Golden Compass”) has no idea her parents had bloody bad taste in names.

Paget Brewster - This actress is right up there with Paula Marshall for appearing in the most failed TV shows. “Paget” is one of those grating, attention-seeking names: “Is it pronounced ‘Pah-shay’ or ‘Pah-jet’?” No one cares. “Punky” is the only name in show biz that should precede “Brewster,” dammit!

Meeno Peluce - Sure this one-time kid actor hasn’t been in anything in eons, but I just had to mention him because he is the half brother of the Champion McChamp of irritating celebrity names, Soleil Moon Frye.

Wings Hauser - “Hey Wings, you and your stupid name are needed on the set of Matlock pronto!”

Have a celeb name that irritates you? Let us know (use the comments field below). For more on unique names, check out Scott’s “Fartlin If It’s a Girl” or this old gem, “New Baby Names Found in Your Home.”

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